The Grayness of Healing
The thing about getting better is that no one tells you how "gray" it is. No one tells you how the space where chaos used to be is the healthy emptiness where peace resides. No one tells you that you can fill it with the things you really want in life instead of "more of the same" because "more of the same" is all you ever knew. No one really teaches you how to stop running from it. We see this glamorized in movies. We see it in the stories of heroes and underdogs... But no one... No one tells you what to do with that when it's your turn. We think that getting better, overcoming your demons, solving your problems... Is like this big, colorful experience. Like a huge glamorous epiphany. But it's not... Not at first. At least it has not been for me. It's a series of little rebellions. A million deaths of choices and habits that will continue unraveling you in ways that you didn't know you needed but also that deep down you understand are ne...
